Showing posts with label Faith. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Faith. Show all posts

Saturday, June 7, 2008

Lovely...

Absolute favorite quoted scene from the movie Nickolas Nickleby (a Dickens tale)...

Nickolas: My life collapsed like a house of sticks the day my father died. I clung to my mother and sister, then Smike and Noggs...hoping, waiting, for I knew not what. I knew not what until that day, when I opened my eyes and the darkness was replaced with the sight of your face. It was the island towards which I had been sailing, unguided, my whole life, the dream my father had promised me before I could even imagine its existence. I have been happy for times, little times, since he died...but never at peace. Not until I looked at your face...and saw the universe in order behind it.
Madeline: Nickolas...I feel you know what it’s like to be without happiness. But do you know what it’s like to be afraid of it? To see the world as so conniving, you cannot take pleasure in the appearance of something good...because you suspect...it is only a painted drop behind which other troubles lie. That has been my life. Every good thing has been a trick. Until you. Yet I am afraid to take your hand. What if you cannot or will not save me? I can bear to maltreated by the greedy or the weak, but to be let down by an angel...
Nickolas: I am not an angel. I live as far from that lofty perch as any man. My temper alone, my impatience...well, perhaps I should not list all my faults in case I am too persuasive. You are the one who is so admirably able and strong.
Madeline: I am tired of being strong.
Nickolas: As am I. Weakness is tiring, but strength is exhausting. You see, I cannot save you...for I need saving too.
Madeline: What are you proposing?
Nickolas: Only this. That we save ourselves together.
(Nickolas leans and kisses Madeline)
Madeline: Nickolas, please. Think of the others. People might see.
Nickolas: I don’t care.

Thursday, January 10, 2008

...a small unfinished beginning to a new short story.

Sarah spun around laughing, her chain of flowers waving in the air. Dancing across the green field of daisies after her pet sheep, Rose, she sang happily. Today she would be leaving this village. She’d met a man the night before who told her of a great city down the path into the valley below. Great and wonderful things were in that city, he told her. She would be a fool if she continued to linger here in this pitiful village looking after her sheep. Sarah eagerly agreed to meet with him today and follow him to this mysterious place.

Now she waited.

A voice shouted from the mountain, and Sarah stopped singing to look up.

Samuel, her least favorite person in the village, was running towards her. His face sweaty; blue eyes glowing.

“Sarah, we must get the others! Wait till you hear where I have been!” He grabbed her hand and pulled her towards the village, causing the chain of daisies to drop underfoot.

“Samuel, stop!” she snapped, trying to jerk her hand away.

“No you must come, I’ve seen the king,” he said in a rush of words.

“Samuel, what on earth are you babbling about?” Sarah asked in irritation as she bent to retrieve her fallen flowers.

“You know the king who is always sending us gifts,” Samuel explained very patiently.

Sarah rolled her eyes,” That is very nice Samuel.”

She picked up her flowers and began walking towards the village, eager to get away from him. Samuel followed her, but she ignored his jabbering nonsense, sighing with relief when another group of children appeared and he went running towards them.

Nothing was going distract her from getting out of this village. Not even the king. A king she had never seen, a king she did not care about. All of her young life she had lived in this village. She had been completely happy, completely satisfied, for the village was a lovely place. But then she had met the man in the woods, the man with the entrancing green eyes and comforting deep voice.

Suddenly her entire life had seemed like only meaningless euphoria. The words he spoke opened an entire new world to Sarah. Adventure, danger and discovery awaited her below the mountain. Longing was stirred in her heart...she knew there had always been a bigger world than her tiny village.

As Sarah passed the excited group gathered around Samuel she glimpsed the man standing in the fork of the path at the edge of the village.

Sarah skipped towards him, dropping her chain of flowers yet a second time. His tan face split into that entrancing smile that had so captivated Sarah the second she had met him.

“Are you ready, Sarah?” he asked as she approached within earshot, he held out his hand.

“Yes,” she replied softly, slipping her small hand into his large one.

“Than follow me,” he said turning back down the path. For only a brief second, doubt lingered in

Sarah’s mind as she glanced back over her shoulder. The houses of the village stood strong and straight, their bricks covered in flowers, the children’s voices echoed with laughter and song, she could see their familiar forms weaving in and out of the gardens and pathways and across the meadows. She quickly turned away, they were all trapped here.

One day they would want to leave themselves as she was doing now. Turning her face quickly away, Sarah’s eyes stuck to the path. She had made her choice.

to be continued...

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Deeper...

pic (5)Its the middle of October right now and I don't know why but for some reason this month seems to be dragging on forever. I find myself strangely stalled; like my feet are moving but I am just not getting anywhere. School is slow and predictable, my writing is going no where at the moment, and my social life is at its slimmest. I'm not complaining; I would rather my life be boring and stable, then insecure and dangerous, but I can't help feeling just a tad bit bored. Spiritually bored, mentally bored, physically bored...how many ways can you explain bored?
Then I look outside and see the beautiful autumn weather, and I feel ungratefully lazy in this attitude. Its not like I have nothing to do. Every day has something to occupy my time, whether it be studying for class or cooking meals for the family, but its like just in my spirit I feel restless. It always seems that with the changing of season, the heart as well adjusts to its own changes, after all the spirit and the physical are always combined.
Let the cold winds blow, so to speak, and clear away the heat of summer's blissful fantasy...crisp reality has arrived.
Or maybe I'm being to severe. Perhaps life is keeping this steady to pace, to balance out who I am. I've decided to never believe I know anything any more. Without God I know nothing, I am nothing, and everything else is nothing. Whatever He allows is good, whatever He withholds is good, and whatever He is doing is good. So I even in my growing faith, which still feels like a tentative, wobbling baby at times, I cannot doubt who He is, even if I doubt myself. And even as I doubt, it is like there this growing warmth inside me, pushing out all the dark ugliness and unwanted sin, squeezing slowly, each little issue one by one to the surface...they linger, if only for a moment in view of all...and then suddenly they disappear, and the warmth remains in their place. When someone asks to be emptied, I don't think most people realize the actual reality of what they are asking of God. In order for something to be emptied, what is inside must come out...it's not all glorious and inspiring to find yourself being poured out. Its not pleasant...but somewhere within all the unpleasantness of it, you actually find God in ways you couldn't before. Somehow His presence is that much sweeter, His forgiveness that much realer and His love that much more precious.
Now what does it feel like to be completely empty?...I can't answer that, cause I haven't got there yet...but oh, how I want to reach that sweet bliss, that reckless abandon of only Jesus.
Today has just been an ordinary day, full of ordinary things...but somehow I think in all its ordinariness, something extraordinary has happened...is happening every day. I think once again God is taking out another piece of this heart of stone, and replacing it with a piece of Himself...His heart of flesh. And somehow this comforts me...and tears away my bored, lazy mind...making me feel wonderful once again.

Everything
Lifehouse

Find me here
And speak to me
I want to feel You
I need to hear You
You are the light
That's leading me
To the place
Where I find peace again
You are the strength
That keeps me walking
You are the hope
That keeps me trusting
You are the light
To my soul
You are my purpose
You are everything

And how can I stand here with You
And not be moved by You
and You tell me how could it be any better than this
yeah...

You calm the storms
And You give me rest
You hold me in Your hands
You won't let me fall
You steal my heart
And you take my breath away
Would You take me in
Take me deeper now

And how can I stand here with You
And not be moved by You
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this
And how can I stand here with You
And not be moved by You
Would You tell me how could it be any better than this

'Cause You're all I want
You're all I need
You're everything, everything
You're all I want
You're all I need
You're everything, everything
You're all I want
You're all I need
You're everything, everything
You're all I want
You're all I need
You're everything, everything

And how can I stand here with You
And not be moved by You
Would You tell me how could it be any better than this
And how can I stand here with You
And not be moved by You
Would You tell me how could it be any better than this